an uncertain future

Since my last post, I have FINISHED grad school and started substitute teaching!!!

Now I'm entering into another phase of life...an uncertain future...the daunting journey of finding a teaching job. On Thursday night, I am interviewing for two open positions (2nd and 4th grade) at a wonderful Christian school in Elgin. My heart starts pounding just thinking about it. Just like every other person on the face of the planet, I am NERVOUS about interviewing! Especially when it's for my dream job (4th grade teacher) at a highly respected school.

So this week I am planning out all my answers to questions I anticipate being asked...  
"Why do you want to be a teacher?" 
"Why do you want to teach in a Christian school?" 
"What is your educational philosophy?" 
"How do you address different learning styles?" 
"What are your strengths and weaknesses?" 
"What is your favorite Bible verse?" 
"What is your testimony?" 
"What experience do you have with 2nd and 4th grade?"
etc., etc.

No matter how much I plan and prepare, however, I am bound to be asked a question that catches me off guard. Last night's sermon really convicted and comforted me... "God leads us one step at a time as we walk in obedience...Proverbs 16:9 says, 'the heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.'"

If God wants me at this school, he will establish the steps! I am just following his lead. And I will keep preaching this to myself every time my heart starts to pound.

Dark, Light

First, I need to say how happy I am sitting in my backyard in the 75-degree weather, working on my capstone. Well, right now, I'm writing this blog post. Whatever.

Last night, I couldn't fall asleep for several hours. After 1am, when sleep isn't coming, all of my worries and problems become more than I can bare. My battle with anxiety definitely doesn't help. In those dark hours, I begin to doubt everything I know to be true in the light. I try to comfort myself by reading my favorite Bible passages, by praying for other people, and sometimes for myself. But in those hours, I can't escape whatever it is that weighs heavy on my chest. I can't escape the doubt. But morning never fails to bring the light and my fears and doubts are lifted. God is faithful.

Can anyone else relate?

life is beautiful

Life and beauty comes from Jesus; our Redeemer, Judge, and Friend.


Be beautiful. Be alive.

things my mom says...

For some reason, we were talking about kids who have imaginary friends.

"Imaginary friends...or DEMONS?"

Really. I can't make this stuff up.

thanks to God and Grampa

Tomorrow I have an interview. My first ever interview for a teaching position. This is the real deal.

I am...
grateful for the opportunity.
highly qualified.
NERVOUS!
excited.
more nervous than excited.
afraid I'll forget everything I've ever learned and be speechless.
confident that if I get the job, it will be thanks to God. And my grampa.

So I'm going to go study interview questions...

When I come to die

In the morning, when I rise,
Give me Jesus.

When I am alone,
Give me Jesus.

When I come to die,
Give me Jesus.

Give me Jesus
Give me Jesus
You can have all this world
But give me Jesus!

smacked

Sometimes, I am smacked in the face with my own selfishness.
It reminds me that I still need Jesus.



All I have is yours. I am yours. Amen.