smacked

Sometimes, I am smacked in the face with my own selfishness.
It reminds me that I still need Jesus.



All I have is yours. I am yours. Amen.

dreams are infused with distinct feelings

I was just jolted awake from a terrible nightmare. One of the scariest I can remember experiencing. And I want to try to describe to you this bad dream before going back to sleep (and hopefully to better dreams)...

I was tired and driving at night on a highway in some rural part of the country. Then all of the sudden I realized two things; my headlights weren't working and the cars in both lanes in front of me were coming to an insanely hard stop and I didn't think there was anyway I could stop in time to avoid slamming into these cars. But somehow I did stop in time. But then for some reason, the cars in front of me started driving again, and so did I. FAST. And without my headlights. My heart started racing, as it should have been because I was driving 80 miles/hour WITHOUT HEADLIGHTS.

Then, my car shot right off of the edge of a cliff. Somehow I realized that A) there had been a bridge that used to be there and B) I was going to die in a few seconds when my car and I would fatefully meet the water below. I was free falling to my death. After about 2 seconds of sheer terror, I attempted to reel my emotions back in and come to a kind of peace. I was going to die and that was ok. But I wasn't actually ok with it. Then I died and woke up in the same instant. My heart is still recovering.

There you have it. The best way I know how to deal with these types of dreams is to record it, lift it up to my Lord in prayer, and ask Him to take my dreams captive.

I also have two songs stuck in my head that my brain is mashing up together. But I don't know what songs they are. Driving me crazy.

a prayer

I just started grad school at Trinity last Thursday night. Since then, I have been working nonstop on my hw/projects/papers. And I haven't even started working yet. I start nannying on Monday (2 days a week) and I'll be getting a call here and there to be a sub either in Dist. 21 or the other private schools I'm working for.

So my mom asked the lingering question I've been avoiding asking myself:

"How are you going to do grad school and work at the same time?"

My response: "God help me."

And then I was thinking...YES! GOD HELP ME!

So here is my fast but earnest prayer and I hope you pray it if you happen to read this...

Dear Jesus,

I feel overwhelmed and exhausted and it's only been a week. You are my Creator and my Provider and the Savior of the world! Nothing is impossible for you. Please give me diligence to use my time wisely and strength to complete what needs to be done. Give me restful sleep and energy during the day. And above all, be glorified.

In Your name, Jesus,

Amen.

pray

My grampa was able to go home on Sunday, but my grandma has barely been able to take care of him because of how severely depressed she is.

So I just woke up a few minutes ago and my mom called and said to pray because grampa was being taken to the hospital. All I know is that someone had to call 911 from my grandparents' house in Elgin, and my mom called me on her way to whatever hospital is around there.

Anyways, my point is, please join me in prayer!

God is good.