death by music

Priscilla Ahn is killing me. Like musical daggers straight to my heart.



Also, Lisa Hannigan.

little ditty

I really love Fionn Regan, especially his song, "Be Good or Be Gone." His music has a way of speaking to my soul. His lyrics are so raw and real.

When I really really love a song, I have the urge to sing it myself. So here is my feeble attempt...(using photobooth. ha.)

really.

I could really use some silly putty right now. My hands are itching for it.

Oh, and here is this:

dreams are infused with distinct feelings

I was just jolted awake from a terrible nightmare. One of the scariest I can remember experiencing. And I want to try to describe to you this bad dream before going back to sleep (and hopefully to better dreams)...

I was tired and driving at night on a highway in some rural part of the country. Then all of the sudden I realized two things; my headlights weren't working and the cars in both lanes in front of me were coming to an insanely hard stop and I didn't think there was anyway I could stop in time to avoid slamming into these cars. But somehow I did stop in time. But then for some reason, the cars in front of me started driving again, and so did I. FAST. And without my headlights. My heart started racing, as it should have been because I was driving 80 miles/hour WITHOUT HEADLIGHTS.

Then, my car shot right off of the edge of a cliff. Somehow I realized that A) there had been a bridge that used to be there and B) I was going to die in a few seconds when my car and I would fatefully meet the water below. I was free falling to my death. After about 2 seconds of sheer terror, I attempted to reel my emotions back in and come to a kind of peace. I was going to die and that was ok. But I wasn't actually ok with it. Then I died and woke up in the same instant. My heart is still recovering.

There you have it. The best way I know how to deal with these types of dreams is to record it, lift it up to my Lord in prayer, and ask Him to take my dreams captive.

I also have two songs stuck in my head that my brain is mashing up together. But I don't know what songs they are. Driving me crazy.

oh dreams...

I had very romantical dreams last night. Yes, romantical. It's not a real word, but dreams aren't real either, so it's ok. But boy, do they feel real sometimes. I woke up with SUCH disappointment this morning. Basically, I met the man of my...dreams. HA!

vacation?

This weekend has been so relaxing because I don't have to worry so much about getting my homework done on time...because both of my jobs ended last week! And so this weekend I've watched 3 movies. By myself. I love watching movies with friends, but sometimes I just really enjoy watching them by myself.


The Kids Are Alright: Don't watch it. I fast-forwarded through half the movie. It was basically pornographic! The storyline had so much potential, but they completely wrecked it with all the sex. Really. Don't see it.

The Pianist: Excellent film. So moving. So sad. So good.

Atonement: Depressing. So so so depressing, but it really was a piece of art.

Not the most in-depth reviews...but I would recommend seeing the Pianist for sure.

These are some facts: I have been taken to the hospital via ambulance two times in the past 6 months and for the same reason: excruciating, black-out inducing abdominal pain related to my period. After several ultrasounds and other doctor appointments, the conclusion was that I was just having bad cramps. I know what bad cramps are. I have them every month. What I experienced was definitely not bad cramps. So right now, I don't have any answers as to what happened and why it has happened twice.

These are some more facts: Both episodes started at home with my parents there. It could have happened while nannying, working at school or driving. But it didn't. I don't have cancer or any other serious condition requiring immediate action.

So while I search for some kind of reasonable diagnosis, I am thanking God for his amazing protection.