When I come to die

In the morning, when I rise,
Give me Jesus.

When I am alone,
Give me Jesus.

When I come to die,
Give me Jesus.

Give me Jesus
Give me Jesus
You can have all this world
But give me Jesus!

smacked

Sometimes, I am smacked in the face with my own selfishness.
It reminds me that I still need Jesus.



All I have is yours. I am yours. Amen.

another "my mom said" post

"What would I do without your dad? I'd have to get rid of dead mice myself. That's gross."

The Color Issue: Its Giveaway Time

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everything will be alright.

Today was extraordinarily long/frazzled/stressful/rough/exhausting. I'm in the very middle of student teaching and it hasn't been easy, to put it lightly. Then this song came on my my ipod while it was on shuffle during my commute home:



aaaaaand it was almost as if Jesus were singing to me.



In other news, I found this article to be very funny and true. Mindy Kaling knows what's up.

it's official

My mother has declared she is team Jacob 100%.

HOW.

HOW DO I EVER HAVE TIME TO BLOG???

things my mom says...

I could create a blog devoted only to things my mom says.

This morning I folded a scarf and put it on my head, like this...
Mom: "Well aren't you a fashion plate!"
Dad: "What does that mean?"
Mom: "She's a plate of fashion! Yum! Serve it up!"



I'm off to take Sammy for a walk and stop at some garage sales around the neighborhood.

Happy Saturday!

loving

It's not difficult for me to love my ("my") students. Each one of those 4th graders is funny, adorable, or both. They are full of life and ideas and stories to tell me. Sometimes I get caught off guard by how deep this love for them is growing, and I know it is only because of Jesus. I want to love these kids more intentionally. I want to never cease praying for them, even and especially when I'm walking around the classroom while they are doing independent work. We have a "moment of silence" after the pledge of allegiance everyday and you better believe my heart is not silent for those few seconds. They are all so precious and my heart's desire is that Jesus would draw each of them to Himself. Lord draw them close to you!

Here's some Gungor:

death by music

Priscilla Ahn is killing me. Like musical daggers straight to my heart.



Also, Lisa Hannigan.

little ditty

I really love Fionn Regan, especially his song, "Be Good or Be Gone." His music has a way of speaking to my soul. His lyrics are so raw and real.

When I really really love a song, I have the urge to sing it myself. So here is my feeble attempt...(using photobooth. ha.)

really.

I could really use some silly putty right now. My hands are itching for it.

Oh, and here is this:

dreams are infused with distinct feelings

I was just jolted awake from a terrible nightmare. One of the scariest I can remember experiencing. And I want to try to describe to you this bad dream before going back to sleep (and hopefully to better dreams)...

I was tired and driving at night on a highway in some rural part of the country. Then all of the sudden I realized two things; my headlights weren't working and the cars in both lanes in front of me were coming to an insanely hard stop and I didn't think there was anyway I could stop in time to avoid slamming into these cars. But somehow I did stop in time. But then for some reason, the cars in front of me started driving again, and so did I. FAST. And without my headlights. My heart started racing, as it should have been because I was driving 80 miles/hour WITHOUT HEADLIGHTS.

Then, my car shot right off of the edge of a cliff. Somehow I realized that A) there had been a bridge that used to be there and B) I was going to die in a few seconds when my car and I would fatefully meet the water below. I was free falling to my death. After about 2 seconds of sheer terror, I attempted to reel my emotions back in and come to a kind of peace. I was going to die and that was ok. But I wasn't actually ok with it. Then I died and woke up in the same instant. My heart is still recovering.

There you have it. The best way I know how to deal with these types of dreams is to record it, lift it up to my Lord in prayer, and ask Him to take my dreams captive.

I also have two songs stuck in my head that my brain is mashing up together. But I don't know what songs they are. Driving me crazy.

oh dreams...

I had very romantical dreams last night. Yes, romantical. It's not a real word, but dreams aren't real either, so it's ok. But boy, do they feel real sometimes. I woke up with SUCH disappointment this morning. Basically, I met the man of my...dreams. HA!

vacation?

This weekend has been so relaxing because I don't have to worry so much about getting my homework done on time...because both of my jobs ended last week! And so this weekend I've watched 3 movies. By myself. I love watching movies with friends, but sometimes I just really enjoy watching them by myself.


The Kids Are Alright: Don't watch it. I fast-forwarded through half the movie. It was basically pornographic! The storyline had so much potential, but they completely wrecked it with all the sex. Really. Don't see it.

The Pianist: Excellent film. So moving. So sad. So good.

Atonement: Depressing. So so so depressing, but it really was a piece of art.

Not the most in-depth reviews...but I would recommend seeing the Pianist for sure.

These are some facts: I have been taken to the hospital via ambulance two times in the past 6 months and for the same reason: excruciating, black-out inducing abdominal pain related to my period. After several ultrasounds and other doctor appointments, the conclusion was that I was just having bad cramps. I know what bad cramps are. I have them every month. What I experienced was definitely not bad cramps. So right now, I don't have any answers as to what happened and why it has happened twice.

These are some more facts: Both episodes started at home with my parents there. It could have happened while nannying, working at school or driving. But it didn't. I don't have cancer or any other serious condition requiring immediate action.

So while I search for some kind of reasonable diagnosis, I am thanking God for his amazing protection.

brain-washing and beyonce

Had a dream last night that I stumbled into a house full of people I knew who were brain washed by the house owner. She tried to brain wash me too but I didn't fall for it.

Also, this is great:

magic

Snippet of a conversation from nannying today:

Josh: "Do you like unicorns, Danielle?"
Me: "Yep."
Josh (smiling): "Me too."

Jessica loves Julie Andrews, as do I, which kind of bonds us in a way. She often asks me if I'm Mary Poppins, to which I always reply with a resounding, "YES!" But then she says, "Why aren't you wearing a dress then? Mary Poppins always wears a dress."

Mary Poppins is pure magic. And I'm enchanted by it. This is magic too:

a little bit lost

Every so often in my rigorous grad-school program, I get a chance to breath. Like right now. I have a minute to get my head above water and take a deep breath before being plunged back into the depths. And these moments of recovery are becoming rarer and rarer. Sometimes I wish I'd never enrolled in this program. And sometimes I feel like I'm losing myself just a little bit. I don't feel quite the same...I think what I'm feeling is what they call "jaded." And I miss my friends. I hate that I don't get to see them very much.

I sound like such a whiney-pants. But this is what blogs are for, right?


Alas, the end is near. Not as near as I would like it to be, but near it is indeed. I just pray that the Lord keeps me together. I know he will. He always does.

you are my sunshine

(just a few more edits from luke and sarah's engagement shoot)

Do you ever start having a nightmare and then jerk yourself into consciousness? But you're not fully awake and you're afraid to fall back into sleep because you're afraid you'll just fall right back into the nightmare? Well one of those scenarios happened to me last night.

I have a semi-reoccurring nightmare that men have broken into my house and their mission is to kill me with their karate. And basically I get my butt kicked. It sounds so lame when I type it out, but it is downright terrifying when I'm in the middle of it.

I'm incredibly exhausted and I don't have the motivation or energy to work on my homework. My eyes sting and I'm still not over this cold and I just want to burrow into my bed and not come out until springtime.

just a few things...

Wow. This waldorf salad looks delish. I will make and devour it as soon as possible.

Also, I would like to sing the praises of this white noise generator. Lately, Sammy has been waking me up around 4am every morning with his crazed bouts of barking because he gets freaked out in his cage. I was beginning to lose my mind from losing sleep. I sleep with a fan on for the white-noise effect, but it couldn't block out the dog. Then I received a blessed noise machine and it works like a DREAM. Yes, a dream. It has saved my sleeping life.

Miriam, if you read this, I LOVE YOU. Well I love you whether you read this or not, but you know what I mean. Miriam is a dear friend of mine and she is in AFRICA. I hope she posts on her blog so I can know what's happening. :) I miss her like cray-zee!

Oh one last thing: I am going to get my hair cut. I am thinking about getting bangs. Like these ladies:





bangs? yay? nay?

just a few dreams...

I've been having lots of dreams the past few nights, but I can only remember bits and pieces. So here are a couple...

Last night: I had a dream or a series of dreams about people trying to break into my house at night. I remember realizing there were people outside, and then rushing to lock the back door and the front door. Then for some reason I had to put all my weight on the front door (even though it was locked). I called for my parents to help me, and told my dad to call the police, but he couldn't or wouldn't, I can't remember which. I don't know who the people trying to break in were, but I just remember being really scared about them getting in. I woke up catching my breath.

Another night: I was in the audience watching something I can't remember what it was. The people sitting behind me were being really rude so I told them to shut up, but using less kind words. Then they started kicking the back of my seat, so I whipped around to elbow them in the face (I know, so aggressive!), but ended up waking up mid-swing and elbowing the lamp by my bed instead. Luckily, I didn't break it.

worst decision ever

So tonight I was getting together all the little V-day baggies for my 4th graders and decided to watch a movie. For reasons unknown, I decided on "The Last Song." Yes. Miley Cyrus with her weird teeth situation is in it. And there are about 2098346 cliche moments. And of course I bawled my eyes out because it's a movie based on a Nicholas Spark novel.

Wow. What a terrible decision I made. Depressing story + miley cyrus' horrible acting = two reasons for my big fat tears.


ah yes. there it is.

come on, summer

saw this
and now my heart is officially done with winter.